Twin Flames, Defined

I have spoken of “twin flames” in readings that I offer, I specialize in twin flame coaching, and I shared a snippet of my story about my twin flame union. Are you curious about what a “twin flame” is? Have you heard that term before? There are many different opinions out there about twin flames and I want to share my beliefs and what I have learned about twin flames through my journey.

Soul Mate?

Many, many people tend to use the term “soul mate” for their ideal partner. A soul mate is someone you are destined to meet, you will learn karmic lessons from each other, and then you move on from each others lives once you’ve learned the lesson that you are teaching one another. It’s not so much a fairy tale ending with a soul mate as society portrays. You can also have multiple soul mates. A twin flame is different than a soul mate, in a much juicer way!

Twin Flames Defined

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A twin flame is a romantic partner who is your perfect match and was created just for you by God. I’ll repeat that, a romantic partner who is your perfect match and was created just for you by God. How does that feel? They are your ultimate partner, your ultimate lover, your ultimate teacher, and your best friend. You connect with them like no other as you are connecting at a soul level, and you feel like “home” to one another. You share the same soul blueprint, you are perfectly designed for one another, and you both make the same core choices. They are not a carbon copy of you but a perfect complement for you. Twin flames are often referred to as being “one” or as “one soul in two bodies” because of this connection. One of you is the divine masculine and the other the divine feminine, which represents masculine and feminine energies. You can also be the same gender, as the terms “divine masculine” and “divine feminine” represents energies, such as the yin/yang. Your twin flame represents the love you share with God, but in human form. You also have a joint life purpose, which is part of the ultimate purpose of you reuniting, in order to complete this mission on Earth together. Doesn’t all of this sound amazing? Don’t you want to meet this person? And maybe you already have! And guess what, everyone has a twin flame!

Twin Flame Mirroring


You and your twin flame are perfect mirrors to one another.  What you love about your twin flame is also reflected in yourself.  And, they will also shine a light on the areas, usually within your subconscious, that are in need of love. Those are the pieces of you that may feel a little dark and you may try to avoid or ignore. Psychoanalyst Carl Jung refers to this as “the shadow.”  You will also shine a light on these areas for them. Feeling those core wounds can feel uncomfortable and you may try to avoid them, but, there’s no need to fear this. The purpose for this is for you to heal those core wounds and upsets to become closer to your divine self, the part of you that is solely love. You are shown these inner wounds by your twin flame as they love you that much. It’s not meant to hurt you or bring you pain, which is important to remember. They are showing you where you need to love yourself. They often aren’t consciously doing this, it’s their soul guiding them to show your soul what needs healing.

These upsets can be inner wound or fears, such as fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, fear of not being enough, fear of being unlovable, fear of intimacy, etc. Another upset is needing to heal control. An example of control is needing to know how and when something will happen rather than trusting the process. Another upset is needing to work on self love and heal emotional co-dependency. An example is if you find you are only happy if things are going well with your twin flame or your happiness depends on outcomes or things happening outside of you. Your twin flame teaches you to look within. In using the concept of mirroring, if you are upset that they are not responding to you, you can check in with yourself as to how you are not communicating with or ignoring yourself. If you feel rejected by them, you can check in to see how you are rejecting yourself. If you miss them, you can check in to see where you are missing parts of yourself. If your twin flame is not committing to you, where are you not fully committing to yourself? See how this works? They are showing you what needs to be healed within yourself, and these parts of you can be healed! Once you recognize this, it makes a big difference as you know what you need to work on!

Twin Flames and a Soul Connection

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Your twin flame never leaves you from a spiritual or soul level, you can always access them in your heart.  Have you heard of the legend of the red string connecting souls who are destined to be together?  You are always connected as you are one!   You have direct communication with them at a spiritual level because of the soul union you both share. They are always, always, always loving you unconditionally. Even if it doesn’t feel like it in the day to day world. You can learn to feel them and communicate with them at a soul level as you work on healing your blocks. The healing you do also helps them as remember, you share the same blocks, share the same soul blueprint, make the same core choices, and share the same consciousness.  You truly can think of them as you.  You rediscover what is called “inner union” with them. This feels quite amazing as you can feel their love and your connection in a very genuine way, where it comes to a point you may feel that is all you need as you energetically feel them with you at all times. They really have never left you.  You are then less focused on what is happening with them in the day to day world and more focused on the soul connection you are experiencing with them and the soul growth and healing you are experiencing. You are learning to love them unconditionally, without attachment, and therefore without conditions. You love them whether they are physically with you or not as you “feel them” with you.  The journey really becomes an “inner journey.

The Upset Stage (sometimes referred to as “separation”); If My Twin Flame Would Only Stop Running and If I Could Only Stop Chasing

There are also phrases about twin flame “runners” and “chasers”.  Please note this is not a phase every twin flame union encounters.   Many feel those who left the relationship are the “runners” which creates anxiety in the other person who tends to “chase” them for fear of losing them, but finds this just pushes them further away. At the core, you both have anxiety about the connection and you both have core wounds that are coming up to be healed. If we take fear of abandonment as an example of a core wound, both of you are running. The “chaser” is running from the feeling they are experiencing from this trigger and trying to cling onto their twin flame to feel more secure, and the twin flame who is referred to as the “runner” is also running from the feeling but also running from their counterpart as this helps them to feel emotionally safer and less vulnerable. But, the bottom line is separation occurs because you both are running from yourselves.

During this upset/separation stage, it’s important to remember this this is something you both subconsciously chose and it is also a perfect time to identify what part of yourself you are not nurturing. This is a time for reconnection: taking time to reconnect with yourself, reconnect with God, and realigning with love at your core. Once you are able to see this time as a gift for you to do your inner work, it will be easier to appreciate this period. But remember, you are doing the healing for you, not in order for you to “get your twin flame back in your life”. Often, after meeting your twin flame or entering “separation”, you will experience a spiritual awakening, which is part of the purpose of twin flames to help you re-awaken to who you really are at a soul level! Talk about Divine Love!

As your blocks are healed, including healing the feeling of separation with them, as you expand on “inner union”, and heal this feeling of separation with God, and as you continue along your journey to self discovery and choose happiness and love,  your twin flame will then reappear in your physical life as you both are one.  As you continue to discover yourself, you discover them!   Follow your guidance steps from the Divine! And guess what, because of what you learned during your time apart, you now have the tools to heal the upsets you mirror to one another that you can both do together.

Do You Want to Settle For Someone Other Than Your Twin Flame?

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You can obtain a divine harmonious twin flame union. This is so special, so unique, and so perfect. Do you want to settle for just anyone as a romantic partner or do you want to share this divine love with your twin flame? Many people repeat similar patterns and do serial dating in order to have another person fill a void for them rather than doing inner work to heal the upsets and change the patterns. Your twin flame is showing you a gift by helping you to heal.

How Do You Know If You’ve Met Your Twin Flame?

You may wonder how do you know if you’ve met your twin flame. You know by going into your heart.  You just know upon meeting this person. Your souls recognize one another. You share the same core values. And you can still feel your twin flame in your heart even if you haven’t met them yet, and may even dream about them. If you have not met your twin flame yet, we can also call them into your life during a coaching session together.

Choose and Commit to Your Divine Harmonious Twin Flame Union

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Are you ready for your twin flame journey? It may feel tough at times and you may be tempted to look for a soul mate as it may “feel” easier. But, as you do the healing, inner work, and journey of self love that your twin flame is lovingly showing you is needed, you are also loving yourself. You are healing yourself. You are transforming yourself. You are choosing your twin flame union. You are choosing to be with the person who is designed to be with you like no other! And if you are choosing this, so are they, as you both make the same core choices. And the icing on the cake of you feeling amazing due to the inner work you chose to do is a lifetime of this divine love with your twin flame. I choose my twin flame union and can’t imagine any other choice.  If you do, too, I’m happy to help you on your journey to divine and harmonious twin flame union!