love, self love, Twin Flames

Self Love and the Twin Flame Journey


A core aspect of the twin flame journey is learning to love yourself. This is what your twin flame is teaching you, especially during physical separation. You may ask yourself “what does this even mean?” Or, you may even feel you already do love yourself! Let’s unpack this.

First of all, what is “self love?” The Merriam-Webster online dictionary includes 2 definitions:

An appreciation of one’s own worth or virtue

Proper regard for and attention to one’s own happiness or well-being

This speaks to really seeing, feeling, and believing in your own worth, in your own value, and in that you are fully loveable. Not in a narcissistic way, but in a purely unconditional loving way. It’s not just thinking this about yourself, but really feeling it within yourself!

When you love yourself, you are not in “need” (key word) of outside validation of love as you already believe in the love you have for yourself and you feel this love within you. Any additional love that is given to you simply amplifies how you are already feeling about yourself and it feels good to receive.

However, if you “need” to receive love and validation from others, including your twin flame, in order to feel good about yourself, this means you are needing someone else to fill that void of love for you. And, in truth, you will never be satisfied because you are needing love from outside of yourself. This then leads to codependency within the relationship, which is unhealthy in all relationships and definitely not an aspect of harmonious twin flame unions.

See the difference between needing to receive love compared to desiring or feeling good about receiving love? One is conditional, the other is not.

When it comes to self love, you may already see yourself as loveable. If you do, that’s a wonderful thing! When I began my journey, I saw myself as loveable. As I reflect back to where I was at the beginning of my journey to where I am today, after really committing to inner healing work, I see a huge difference. For myself, I now realize I loved myself in more of a surface level way at the beginning of my journey. I realized I had thoughts of self love, but, feeling the love for myself was missing. I love myself in a much deeper way, now. But, all of this is okay. As my consciousness transformed as part of my journey, the deeper I was able to connect with and love myself. In another year, I’m sure I’ll love myself in an even bigger way than I do now.

Wherever you are at on your self love journey is perfect for you! What’s important is choosing to look within yourself, choosing to do the inner work to heal what’s in the way of you fully loving yourself, and choosing to see yourself as loveable, worthy, and deserving of your desires!

What are some steps you can take to begin your self love journey?

  • Get to know yourself. Who is your authentic self? What would you love to do if time, money, and energy were not a factor? Can you do some of those things?
  • Get to know your inner child. What were your favorite, carefree, playful memories of when you were younger? What did you love to do, before you worried about what others thought about you? What is your inner child communicating to you now? Does s/he miss playing and having fun? Does s/he want to feel heard or want to express him/herself?
  • Become your own best friend. How can you treat yourself like you might treat your best friend? How can you give encouragement, compassion, and love to yourself? When you are hurting, give yourself love, care, and compassion through inner healing work, kind self talk, and compassionate self care. Also, take some time to enjoy spending time with yourself doing things you enjoy. Be present with yourself while doing things that feel enjoyable and be intentional about noticing how good it feels to do things that elicit happiness and joy within you! Take in those good feelings!
  • Love yourself as much as you love your twin flame. When you think about and feel into the love you have for your twin flame, do you have similar thoughts and feelings about yourself? Choose to love and appreciate yourself as much as you love your twin flame, and therefore as much as your twin flame loves you!

The twin flame journey really is a journey back to yourself. Rediscovering your authentic self. And loving who you are, all of you, as you are amazing with so much to offer, to others and to yourself! You can choose to love yourself more and more each and every day as you dive deeper into your self love journey!

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